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Bellelettres Profile
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Happy Holidays, you animal!


Among the Vulgarians

“Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks etc. in the Sight of Others. … If it be upon the Clothes of your Companions, Put it off privately.” This was Rule 13 in George Washington’s “110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company & Conversation,” which our first president reportedly nicked from a French book of manners, copied into one of his school exercise books when he was a teenager and proudly followed for the rest of his life. While the particulars of social decorum have changed somewhat since Washington was a boy, the need for etiquette lessons has not.

We are a nation of boors. According to a study called “Civility in America” — conducted right after the 2016 elections — 75 percent of Americans believe our lack of manners “has risen to crisis levels.”

Fortunately, just in time for the holidays, there is a new crop of books that address etiquette for every imaginable awkward circumstance, though admittedly it may not be the best manners to give one of these books as a gift. What’s the message? “Happy Holidays, you animal!” Here are some choices for the favorite beastie on your list.

Nancy R. Mitchell, ETIQUETTE RULES! A Field Guide to Modern Manners (Wellfleet, paper, $[sign in to see URL]), covers how to dress and behave in a theater and a church, and every venue in between. She also addresses some of the dicier modern conundrums, like how to address someone who is transitioning, or speak properly to a person with a disability.

With “Etiquette Rules,” I discovered that when it comes to new rules involving technology, I might as well have been raised by wolves. I’m not allowed to talk on my cellphone in line at the deli, even if I pause to answer the deli guy’s questions? I can’t place my phone next to me in a restaurant, even if I don’t answer it? And if I do answer, Mitchell warns, you better be either a first responder or the “designated driver for a pregnant woman.”

MODERN AMERICAN MANNERS: Dining Etiquette for Hosts and Guests (Skyhorse, $[sign in to see URL]), by Fred Mayo and Michael Gold, focuses on all matters of etiquette pertaining to dining, with accompanying photographs. Try not to laugh at the photo captioned “Simply ignore guests who fall asleep at the table.”

Kelvin Davis, NOTORIOUSLY DAPPER: How to Be a Modern Gentleman With Manners, Style, and Body Confidence (Mango, paper, $[sign in to see URL]). “Acting in a gentlemanly way,” he writes, “has become so rare that a lot of people mistake it for flirting or being creepy. What’s so creepy about buying someone’s coffee with no intention of wanting anything in return?” This is basically a book for millennials about what it takes to be a gentleman. Kindness is at the core of it. First-time fatherhood and infidelity are shoehorned in here, just because. Davis has something to say to young men about what we lose when we give up the concept of being a gentleman, and what we have to gain when we cherish it.

TREATING PEOPLE WELL: The Extraordinary Power of Civility at Work and in Life (Scribner, $27) is a charming memoir about being a social secretary in the White House, by Lea Berman, who worked for the George W. Bush administration, and Jeremy Bernard, who worked for the Obamas. The book is divided into 12 lessons that describe the different facets of gracious behavior: self-confidence, humor and charm (with an emphasis on humor), consistency and so forth. The meat of the book is in the funny and moving stories about what it takes to be the general of the White House’s social army. The grace-under-pressure lessons here are legion, whether it’s getting reluctant guests to leave without ordering them out (it’s a crowd-control maneuver known as the chicken walk) or refereeing two international interpreters vying for the place of honor next to their leaders while trying to shove each other off their chairs.

The point of the book is that graciousness is not just good for its own sake; it is useful in getting things accomplished, in politics as in life. And if you don’t think that charm, etiquette, manners, civility and grace have a place in today’s White House, you’re fired!

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12/2/2017, 2:32 pm Link to this post PM Bellelettres
 
snowpixie Profile
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Re: Happy Holidays, you animal!


thanks for posting it in it's entirety. There are so many publications that i have reached my limite for the month on, and it's only two days into a new month.
12/2/2017, 10:50 pm Link to this post PM snowpixie Blog
 
Geezess Profile
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Re: Happy Holidays, you animal!


lol, you too ?
It just happened to me so I could not take British Citizenship test.
12/7/2017, 4:07 pm Link to this post PM Geezess Blog
 
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Re: Happy Holidays, you animal!


lol, you too ?
It just happened to me so I could not take British Citizenship test.
12/7/2017, 4:07 pm Link to this post PM Geezess Blog
 
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Re: Happy Holidays, you animal!


I guess i am of the Old School. And the Old European School to boot. And Becky, the daughter of Czech immigrts,, claims that my European manners and mannerisms were what first attracted me to her. That i reminded her of her parents.



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Long live the Free Territory of Trieste (1947 - 1954)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Yxq951CSa0
12/9/2017, 11:23 pm Link to this post PM GoHawk Blog
 
katie5445 Profile
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Re: Happy Holidays, you animal!


Becky and I have that in common, I found it attractive and very sexy. emoticon I watched how my husband treated other women as well and he didn't nor does he know now how much I was paying attention on how he treated his mother, his women friends and women coworkers, I was very impressed, the manners, the empathy, time to listen and validate and he never body shamed.
12/10/2017, 1:35 am Link to this post PM katie5445 Blog
 


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