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Re: Natural Born Stupidity


quote:

katie5445 wrote:

How many teens and in early 20's make bad choices, millions...billions? Then there are well grown up adults as well, afterall we are human!



Of course but there has to be some sort of psychological process leading us to make bad choices. That process doesn't seem to include believing we were making bad choices at the time we made them. We run into a problem explaining the choices if we make that claim.
1/29/2020, 10:45 pm Link to this post PM Philer Blog
 
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Re: Natural Born Stupidity


We all have a red flag Philer it is what we call going over the pros and cons when making a choice and all of us have ignored it and that is especially true for youth You may reach the age of reason around 8 but a brain is not totally matured till mid 20's. There is also a difference between a bad choice and making a mistake. We can never get away even as you age with making mistakes but we can prevent bad choices.
1/30/2020, 3:25 pm Link to this post PM katie5445 Blog
 
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Re: Natural Born Stupidity


If people ignore a "red flag" they don't do it because they believe or know it is a mistake to ignore it. They believe they've got some good reason to ignore it.

quote:

There is also a difference between a bad choice and making a mistake. We can never get away even as you age with making mistakes but we can prevent bad choices.-katie



What is the difference?
2/2/2020, 2:04 am Link to this post PM Philer Blog
 
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Re: Natural Born Stupidity


A mistake is made from lack of knowledge, you calculated wrong but had good intentions as I bought a condo, mistake, when I had several other options. A bad choice is you have two ways to go, A or B, You already know in your gut one is the right choice and one is wrong and you do it anyway. Example Whoopi Goldberg story, in her first marriage she walked down the aisle knowing she was not in love with her future spouse and she did it anyway. Bad choice.
2/3/2020, 6:45 pm Link to this post PM katie5445 Blog
 
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Re: Natural Born Stupidity


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katie5445 wrote:

A mistake is made from lack of knowledge, you calculated wrong but had good intentions as I bought a condo, mistake, when I had several other options. A bad choice is you have two ways to go, A or B, You already know in your gut one is the right choice and one is wrong and you do it anyway. Example Whoopi Goldberg story, in her first marriage she walked down the aisle knowing she was not in love with her future spouse and she did it anyway. Bad choice.



The question remains why did Goldberg walk down the aisle if she knew it was the wrong thing to do even if she knew she wasn't in love with her future spouse. Knowing the latter doesn't mean she knew the former was the wrong thing to do. She may have believed she would grow to love the guy and that there were more good reasons to marry him than reasons not to do so.

If someone knowingly makes the wrong choice we are left with the question why did they do that.
2/8/2020, 6:22 pm Link to this post PM Philer Blog
 
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Re: Natural Born Stupidity


 The same reason women still do it today, it's called a womens body and a kids mind. She was 18, it was planned event, she didn't want to back out. She knew it was wrong when she did it and she followed through. "Grow" to love someone, that was not in her head, that is non existent, you love someone or you don't, you don't grow into it like shoes that are to big!
2/9/2020, 2:05 am Link to this post PM katie5445 Blog
 
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Re: Natural Born Stupidity


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katie5445 wrote:

 The same reason women still do it today, it's called a womens body and a kids mind. She was 18, it was planned event, she didn't want to back out. She knew it was wrong when she did it and she followed through. "Grow" to love someone, that was not in her head, that is non existent, you love someone or you don't, you don't grow into it like shoes that are to big!



What likely happened is that she realized it was wrong soon after she did it but not before she did it. People tend to confuse the two scenarios. If you quickly realize you made a mistake it can be easy for you to believe you also knew it was a mistake before you did it.

The reality is that if she had realized it was the wrong thing to do before she did it she wouldn't have done it. Otherwise we are left with not knowing why she did it. It's as if her actions were disconnected from her mind.
2/9/2020, 3:24 am Link to this post PM Philer Blog
 
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Re: Natural Born Stupidity


Other than she has admitted it was the wrong thing to, you follow others expectations as a young person till you hopefully get it on your own. It is not a disconnection, it is young and dumb and meeting others expectations instead of your own. As much as I think I have it together, now, I will share I did the same exact thing at 21, my parents had spent money and I did want to disappoint. I was waiting for Dustin Hoffman and trying to save me, he didn't come, it lastest all of 18 months.
2/9/2020, 4:39 am Link to this post PM katie5445 Blog
 
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Re: Natural Born Stupidity


She admitted it was the wrong thing to do but the question is when did she realize that? I believe it was only after she had done it, not before. Meeting others' expectations can be something you believe you need to do.
2/13/2020, 10:32 pm Link to this post PM Philer Blog
 
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Re: Natural Born Stupidity


Ok, my take on love, marriage, relationships, etc., is that all humans inherently love all other humans.
Can't help it.
Genetic trait to the species, that allow humans to survive, without requiring any thought process.
That is why we all cringe when we see a stranger killed on live video.

Family is more personal, but they are supposed to be so confining, irritating, etc., that individuals prefer to leave them eventually, once able to.

But that leaves the person alone, and that's no good.
So they look for a mate.
And that is a potentially infinite search.
No matter how good one selection may be, you know eventually you will find one that is better.
But then you have wasted the time meanwhile, and you may then never find the ultimate one.
You also have to judge how likely it is they will stay with you?
So it is always a compromise.
You always finally pick the one you think is about the best you are ever going to find who will also accept you.

And then of course the problem is when you are young, you have less knowledge as to what can be wrong, you are more impatient, and you are much more likely to pick the wrong one.
And as you get older, and you pick up more social skills, money, etc., you also become more desirable to others, so your choices increase. Which can be a problem if you have already committed to someone.

But finally, we also have to remember that herd animals, like all other primates, are not monogamous. It is not clear humans actually are or should be monogamous. So we have to question where that tradition came from, and whether or not it is a good idea?
2/15/2020, 9:09 pm Link to this post PM Rigby5
 


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